(अ)सुर निरागस हो!!!

© Swati Atre
(Copyrighted. Please fwd aling with the original writer's name)

(अ)सुर निरागस हो!!!

(हा प्रसंग पुर्णत: वैयक्तिक असून कुठल्याही प्रकारचे साधर्म्य आढळल्यास आम्ही आपल्या दुः खात सहभागी आहोत!!)

साधारणत: रात्रीचे ११.३० झालेले असतात. मातृदिन संपत आलेला असतो. दिवसभर आलेल्या विविध पोस्टस्, मॅसेजेस् वाचून आई झाल्याबद्दल कृतकृत्य का काय ते वाटत असतं. मांडीवर निद्रीस्त झालेल्या पिल्लाचे चटाचटा मुके घ्यावेसे वाटत असतात (पण नको! उठलं तर काय घ्या) माझ्यामधली रॅशनल आई ईमोशनल आईला समजावते.

~© Swati Atre~

आणि आता निवांत झोपू अश्या आनंदात असतानाच शेजारी शेषशायी झालेल्या नारायणाचा फोन वाजायला लागतो. तो फोन शोधून आवाज बंद करेपर्यंत, देवाघरचं फुल असलेलं माझं मुल झोपेतून उठून, माझ्याकडे टकामका पाहात बसलेलं असतं. माझ्या घश्याला कोरड पडते, स्वतःचं भविष्य (रात्रीपुरतं का होईना) अंधःकारमय दिसू लागतं. मदतीसाठी शेजारी पहावं तर तिकडून निरामय, निर्विकार अशी समाधी लागलेली असते आणि माझा परतीचे सगळे दोर कापले गेलेला सुर्याजी झालेला असतो.

रात्रीचे (की माझे??) १२ वाजलेले असतात. बाळ खेळायच्या मुडात असते. "झोपेल ५-१० मिनिटात" असं स्वतःला समजावत मी उसन्या उत्साहाने, "अगं माझं सोनं ते" करायला लागते. बाळ आनंदाने उड्या मार, इकडून तिकडे लोळ, पांघरुणात घुसून भॉ कर असे बालसुलभ प्रकार सुरू करते आणि मला घड्याळ दिसेनासे होते..

१२ चे १२.३० आणि १२.३० चा १ होतो आणि माझा उसना उत्साह संपू लागतो. "चला आता झोपायचं किनई" पासून "झोप की कार्टे" पर्यंतचा प्रवास फार लवकर पार होतो आणि पाठीवरच्या थापटीचे धपाट्यात रुपांतर होऊ लागते. पण माझ्याच पोटचं असल्याने बाळ डगमगत नाही. आता ते गनिमी कावा करतं. (वाचा अजून शिवचरीत्र!!!) शांतपणे डोळे मिटून घेतले जातात. आईरूपी गनिम निवांत होतो आणि पाठ टेकतो. बरोबर १० मिनिटांनी दुसरा हल्ला होतो. यावेळी बाळकृष्ण कालियामर्दन लिला दाखवतो आणि माझ्या पोटावर दणादण उड्या मारल्या जातात, नाक, कान, डोळे,केस जे हाताला येईल ते ओरबाडलं जातं आणि अतीव आनंदाचे चित्कार काढले जातात. मी जिजाऊपासून श्यामच्या आईपर्यंत सगळ्या मातांचे चिंतन करून हिंसक विचार दूर सारते आणि बाळाला कुशीत घेण्याचा प्रयत्न करते. पण बाळाच्या प्लॅनिंगनुसार आता संगीत रजनीचा कार्यक्रम असतो. त्यानुसार विविध रागदारीतले सुर आळवायला सुरूवात होते.

~© Swati Atre~

त्या सुरांनी समाधी किंचितशी विचलित झालेले बाबा डोळे किलकिले करून, "अगं तिला भूक लागली असेल" असा सल्ला देऊन कुस बदलतात. पुन्हा एकदा रॅशनल आई ईमोशनल आईला समजावते की 'भूक वगैरे नाही, बाळाला टाईमपास करायचाय' पण 'माँ तो आखिर माँ होती है।' या वचनाला जागून मी दुध गरम, गरमचं कोमट करून ते बाटलीत भरून घेउन येते तर मैफील संपवून गायक बसल्याजागी झोपी गेलेले असतात.

मी हताशपणे एकदा हातातल्या बाटलीकडे आणि एकदा बाळाकडे बघते. श्वासाचादेखील आवाज येणार नाही याची काळजी घेत उरलेल्या जागेत लवंडते तेव्हा घड्याळात २.३० वाजलेले असतात.

यानंतर दहशतीखाली झोपलेली मी साधारणत: दर अर्ध्या पाऊण तासाने उठून बाळ झोपले असल्याची खात्री करून घेत असतानाच सकाळ उजाडते..

ज्या कुणी "मुले देवाचे रूप असतात" वगैरे लिहून ठेवलेय त्यांनी नक्कीच रात्री मुलांना झोपवण्याचं महत्कार्य केलेलं नसणार!!!

© Swati Atre
(Copyrighted. Please fwd aling with the original writer's name)

#PreciousThings

There is nothing more life affirming thing than your baby's smile when she looks at you!!

Nothing more satisfying than her squeal of happiness when you cuddle her!!

Nothing more soothing than looking at your child sleeping peacefully in your lap!!

Nothing more comforting than your baby's arms around your neck!!

Nothing more assuring than the trust in her eyes when she holds you for support!!

Nothing more adorable than watching your parents play with her!!

Nothing more funny than the faces she makes while learning new things!!

Nothing more heartbreaking than to end the video call with her Baba sitting somewhere near LOC!!

Nothing worth concentrating more when she wants all your attention!!

Nothing more lovable when she caresses your cheek with her tiny palms!!

Actually we don't understand it until we have it but nothing.. Nothing is more Precious than a Baby in your life!!

© Swati Atre

#YesIAmAStayAtHomeMom

Yes!! I am a double graduate Computer Science student, having 6 years of corporate experience, having all the efficiency and eligibility to work and I am a Stay At Home Mom!! By my own choice.. Not because my family forced me, not because I don't have that Career drive or simply not because no company will hire me.. But just because I want it this way!!

I want to give this precious time to my baby.. Looking after her, making her smile, cuddle her, laugh with her, crawl with her.. Learn new things with her, play with her.. But above all I want to grow up as a Mother with her!! I don't want to have some dedicated hours and days of week to be there with her!! I want to see her take first step, hear her first word, soothe her when she cries.. I want to see her running behind a kitty for hours.. I want to watch her asleep.. I want to give her my best when I still can!!

"Oh dear, why are you wasting your time sitting at home and running behind your child all day" when I hear such statements it hurts me not because they have a shitty tone to it but because they don't understand that they are ridiculing all the efforts by a Mother put in a child by "Wasting" her time running behind him, probably of their own mother also..

"Your education is such a waste if you are not earning" I mean seriously?? Don't you think educated parents will help to cultivate a better generation.. Can't I use my education to make wiser choices for my child. In anyway how can any type of learning is wasteful, it is beyond my understanding..

"Are handling career and house is not your cup of tea." "You won't understand what efforts it takes to handle both office and home".. This and that.. So many of such statements I hear almost everyday. I know it takes a bigger deal and coping to manage all these things.. I have a huge huge respect for all those girls who manage them well.. Kudos!!

But the problem lies with people who try to put me in that segment. For them, I must work, I must earn, I must not waste my education and experience just "Sitting" at home. But the point is guys I want it this way!! I don't want to be that supermom, I just want to "Sit" at home and relax. Any problem??

So then people start judging you. I never knew so many of my acquaintances are concerned about my future. "So when your child starts going to school and outgrows your lap what are you going to do?? You will have that middle age  depression." WHAT??
And what the solution is "Start working somewhere.." :-) Dude my baby is just 10 months as of now and there is hell lot of time and ways to avoid that Middle Age Depression.. (What does that mean by the way??)

Why o why?? I am surrounded by such concerned people. Anyhow, I am tired of justifying my decision to people. Apparently I want to stay back at home for my child for some time is not a reason enough for them. And some of the working friends of mine, they treat me as if I don't exist. I don't have any struggle, I don't have any problems.. For them my life is well settled.. (Ironically when they say it I know they envy me) ;-)

But all said and done.. I am a stay at home mom and I am loving every bit of it!! It is not a sacrifice or something; it is just a basic need. And that too, it's not my baby's need; it is the mother in me who needs it badly!! So she is going to get that!!

I want to seize the day!! My child is going to be this small just for a while!! Kal ki kal dekhenge!! :-)

© Swati Atre

#WeTurnedOne

Dear Gargi,

[I know nowadays writing such posts on birthdays has become cliché.. But still couldn't stop myself from writing one!! Please bear with me as you have to for your whole life.. ;-) ]

Today you turned one!! A full year has gone by and still for us you are the same little bundle the doctor handed over to us. With your first breath, with your first cry, with your first smile you captured our hearts and since then they belong to you.. Forever!! That day two more people were born.. We.. Your Aai and Baba.. So actually today we all turned one!!

Actually this journey is not just of one year, actually you were born when the thought of having our baby came to our mind. Our relation goes that deep girl. You were desired, wanted and waited for.. So we promise you to be the parents who deserve you!!

Being your mom n dad has taught so many things to us!! It has made us patient, understanding, compromising, more loving, caring.. It has made our relation grow stronger than ever!! You have captivated every inch of our life with your tiny feet.. So we promise you to give our best to you no matter what!!

It is amusing to see you grow up so fast.. Seeing the way you learn new things, your curiosity, your innocence, your happiness, it overwhelms us.. So we promise you to never suppress the twinkle in your eyes!!

Sweetheart you have given us the privilege to be parents of a daughter, we promise you to make the world more beautiful for you!!

We will learn, sometimes we will fail but we promise you that we will rise again and together we will grow up!!

So happy first birthday dear girl.. You are the best thing that could have happened to us!! Thanks for choosing us as your parents!! You mean the world to us!!

Never get old, just get better!! Love you loads... :-*

- SwaMi :-)

#MommyDuties

When you do them daily no one notices or acknowledges but one time you don't do them and boooom... Careless mother!! ;-)

© Swati Atre

#MommyGyaan

The energy of a child to start playing different kind of games is directly proportional to how highly sleep deprived mommy is!!

Trust me at that time it takes all the power from the Almighty to not to hate (or hit) the little Monster you yourself have created... ;-)

© Swati Atre

It's Never Too Easy....

It's never too easy to be with a Soldier..
It's never too easy to hold that hand once and let it go over and over again..
It's never too easy to wait for him in the shelter when he goes out there and braces the storm..
It's never too easy to hold onto that single hope in your heart..
It's never too easy when a creepy thought in your head makes its way through your heart..
It's never too easy to maintain your smile in front of your family when your heart inconsolably weeps inside..
It's never too easy to wait for that single call, wide awake, be it 2 or 3 just to know that he is safe..
It's never too easy to celebrate every special day without him by your side..
It's never too easy to know that he feels exactly the same way..
It's never too easy to see some news and being thankful to God that it was not him..
It's never too easy to connect to someone's loss and feel guilty to be happy at times..
It's never too easy to make your kids understand why their father can't be there for their birthdays, annual days, sports days..
It's never too easy to see your parents glued to TV sets when something happens out there..
It's never too easy to stop yourself from getting weak in knees while seeing him after months & months of separation..
It's never too easy to watch him taking out his things from a suitcase in his own home..
It's never too easy to make yourself aware of the ready to go Shoes on your doorstep..
It's never too easy to bid that goodbye, give that final kiss not knowing when will you hold him again..
It's never too easy to be married to a Soldier..
Oh and yes my dear friend,
It's never never too easy to enjoy those perks, facilities, parties and home at exotic places when you have to barter a piece of your Soul for that...!!!

© Swati Atre